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Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples Online from 1995-2022 Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership. In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade. In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur. Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners. Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship. Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer. |
Many couples desire to change their last names to reflect their being a family. You may change your last name to the your partner’s last name, you both may change your last name to a hyphenated last name or to a totally new name altogether. In the U.S., state laws regulate name changes. Contact your state’s department of records and licenses — in some states, the circuit court clerks process name changes — and ask what they require. In all but a few states, to legally change your name, Federal law allows a name change by common usage. All you need to do is use the new name in all aspects of your personal, social and business life — such as on credit cards, driver license, social security card, etc. No court action is necessary. However, minors and prison inmates are generally exceptions to this. Practically speaking, however, an official court document may make it much easier to get business and governmental agencies to accept your new name. Because many people and agencies do not know that a usage name change is legal, they may want to see something in writing signed by a judge. Also, certain types of identification — such as a new passport or a birth certificate attachment — are not readily available if you change your name by the usage method. Further, because of identity theft and paranoia about terrorism, many government agencies won’t change your records without seeing a court order.
There are some limits on what you may choose as your new name:
Whether you change your name by usage or by court order, the most important part is to let others know you’ve taken a new name. While it may take some time to contact government agencies and businesses, be persistent — it’s a common, if tedious, procedure. Some practical steps of implementing a name change are:
Places to notify of your name change:
Finally, change your name on other important legal papers, for example, powers of attorney, living wills and contracts.
Some businesses or institutions may be reluctant to accept a name change — particularly if made without a court order. If you live in a state where no court order is required, however, you should be able to persuade them to make the change. Provide documentation that shows both the old and new names. If you recently obtained a passport, it would be useful as it may show your old name as well as the new name as an AKA (“also known as”). If you meet with resistance, you may want to give the impeding party a summary of the state law that supports your position. Local law libraries at universities would have the pertinent laws for your state. If the person with whom you are dealing remains uncooperative, ask to speak to his or her supervisor. You have the legal right to change your name, even if the people you’re dealing with don’t know it. Keep going to higher authorities until you get results. For instance, if you have trouble at a local government agency, contact the main office. If you still get nowhere, enlist your local elected official.
Finally, if you are completely thwarted, consider going to court and getting a signed order from a judge. It costs more and will take a bit of time, but an official document usually makes it easier to handle people and institutions who refuse to accept your new name.
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