Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

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Freedom and Equality
La Libertad y La Igualdad
by José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, Prime Minister of Spain
June 30, 2005, Madrid


On June 29, 2005, Spain became the fourth nation in the world to offer legal marriage to same-sex couples.
[See our article: Spain Offers Legal Marriage]

The new law states:

“Matrimony shall have the same requirements and effects regardless of whether the persons involved are of the same or different sex.”

Before Parliament voted to approve this bill, Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero gave a stiring speech in support of the measure to ensure equality and freedom for all.


Complete text of Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero’s speech, during the plenary session of Congress, supporting reform of the Civil Code to allow marriage between people of the same sex. Texto íntegro del discurso del presidente del Gobierno, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, en el pleno del Congreso para defender la reforma del Código Civil que permitirá el matrimonio entre personas del mismo sexo.

Today, my government definitively submits for Senate approval the Bill, modifying Civil Law, which gives the right to form a marriage contract, a fulfillment of an electoral campaign promise.

We recognize today in Spain the rights of same-sex couples to enter in a marriage contract. Before Spain, they allowed this in Belgium, Holland, and, as of two days ago, Canada. We have not been the first, but I sure you that we will not be the last. After us, there will be many more countries motivated, honorable members, by two unstoppable forces: freedom and equality.

It is just a small change to the legal text, adding but a paragraph, in which we establish that marriage will have the same requisites, and the same rights, when the couple is either of different sexes, or the same sex. It is a small change in the letter of the law that creates an immense change in the lives of thousands of our felow citizens.

We are not legislating, honorable members, for a far away and unknown people. We are extending the opportunity for happiness to our neighbors, co-workers, friends, and our families: at the same time, we are making a more decent society, because a decent society is one that does not humiliate its members.

In the poem “The family” our poet Luis Cernuda lamented:

“How does man live in denial, and how in vain
By giving rules that prohibit and condemn.”

Today, Spanish society responds to a group of people that for years have been humiliated, whose rights have been ignored, whose dignity has been offended, and whose identity and freedom has been denied. Today, Spanish society grants them the respect they deserve, recognizes their rights, restores their dignity, affirms their identity, and restores their freedom.

It is true that they are only a minority, but their triumph is everyone’s triumph. It is also a triumph of those who oppose this law, even as they attempt to ignore it, because it is the triumph of freedom. This victory makes all of us a better society.

Honorable members, there is no damage to marriage or to the family in allowing two people of the same sex to get married. Rather, these citizens now have the ability to organize their lives according to marital and familial norms and demands. There is no threat to the institution of marriage, but precisely the opposite: this law recognizes and values marriage.

Aware that some people and institutions profoundly disagree with this legal change, I wish to say that like other reforms to the marriage code that preceded this one, this law will not generate bad results, that its only consequence will be to avoid senseless suffering of human beings. A society that avoids senseless suffering of its citizens is a better society.

In any case, I wish to express my deep respect to those people and institutions, and I also want to ask for the same respect for all of those who approve of this law. To the homosexuals that have personally tolerated the abuse and insults for many years, I ask that you add to the courage you have demonstrated in your struggle for civil rights, an example of generosity and joy with respect to all the beliefs.

With the approval of this Bill, our country takes another step in the path of freedom and tolerance that was started by the democratic Transition. Our children view us with incredulity when we tell them that many year ago, our mothers had less rights than our fathers, or we tell them that people had to stay married against their will, even though they were unable to share their lives. Today we can offer them a beautiful lesson: every obtained right, and liberty has been the result of the struggle and sacrifice of many people of whom we must recognize and be proud.

Today, we demonstrate with this Bill that societies can better themselves, and can cross barriers and create tolerance by putting a stop to the humiliation and unhappiness. Today, for many, comes the day evoked by Kavafis a century ago:

“Later was said of the most perfect society
someone else, made like me,
certainly will come out and act freely.”
Hoy mi Gobierno somete definitivamente a la aprobación de la Cámara el Proyecto de Ley por el que se modifica el Código Civil en materia de derecho a contraer matrimonio en estricto cumplimiento de un compromiso electoral ante la ciudadanía y ante esta Cámara.

Reconocemos hoy en España el derecho de las personas a contraer matrimonio con otras de su mismo sexo. Antes que nosotros lo hicieron Bélgica y Holanda, y antesdeayer lo reconoció Canadá. No hemos sido los primeros, pero tengo por seguro que no seremos los últimos. Detrás vendrán otros muchos países impulsados, Señorías, por dos fuerzas imparables: la libertad y la igualdad.

Se trata de un pequeño cambio en el texto legal: se agrega apenas un escueto párrafo en el que se establece que el matrimonio tendrá los mismos requisitos y los mismos efectos cuando los contrayentes sean del mismo o de diferente sexo; un pequeño cambio en la letra que acarrea un cambio inmenso en las vidas de miles de compatriotas.

No estamos legislando, Señorías, para gentes remotas y extrañas. Estamos ampliando las oportunidades de felicidad para nuestros vecinos, para nuestros compañeros de trabajo, para nuestros amigos y para nuestros familiares, y a la vez estamos construyendo un país más decente, porque una sociedad decente es aquella que no humilla a sus miembros.

En un poema titulado “La familia” nuestro Luis Cernuda se lamentaba:

“Cómo se engaña el hombre y cuán en vano
Da reglas que prohíben y condenan.”

Hoy la sociedad española da una respuesta a un grupo de personas que durante años han sido humilladas, cuyos derechos han sido ignorados, cuya dignidad ha sido ofendida, su identidad negada y su libertad reprimida. Hoy la sociedad española les devuelve el respeto que merecen, reconoce sus derechos, restaura su dignidad, afirma su identidad y restituye su libertad.

Es verdad que son tan sólo una minoría; pero su triunfo es el triunfo de todos. También aunque aún lo ignoren, es el triunfo de quienes se oponen a esta ley, porque es el triunfo de la libertad. Su victoria nos hace mejores a todos, hace mejor a nuestra sociedad.

Señorías, No hay agresión ninguna al matrimonio ni a la familia en la posibilidad de que dos personas del mismo sexo se casen. Más bien al contrario, lo que hay es cauce para realizar la pretensión que tienen esas personas de ordenar sus vidas con arreglo a las normas y exigencias del matrimonio y de la familia. No hay una conculcación de la institución matrimonial, sino justamente lo opuesto: valoración y reconocimiento del matrimonio.

Soy consciente de que algunas personas e instituciones están en profundo desacuerdo con este cambio legal. Deseo expresarles que, como otras reformas que la precedieron, esta ley no engendrará ningún mal, que su única consecuencia será el ahorro de sufrimiento inútil de seres humanos. Y una sociedad que ahorra sufrimiento inútil a sus miembros es una sociedad mejor.

En todo caso, manifiesto mi profundo respeto a esas personas y a esas instituciones, y quiero pedir además a todos quienes apoyan esta Ley ese mismo respeto. A los homosexuales, que han soportado en carne propia el escarnio y la afrenta durante años, les pido que al valor demostrado en la lucha por sus derechos sumen ahora el ejemplo de la generosidad y expresen su alegría con respeto a todas las creencias.

Con la aprobación de este Proyecto de Ley nuestro país da un paso más en el camino de libertad y tolerancia que inició en la Transición democrática. Nuestros hijos nos mirarían con incredulidad si les relatamos que no hace tanto tiempo sus madres tenían menos derechos que sus padres y si les contamos que las personas debían seguir unidas en matrimonio, aún por encima de su voluntad, cuando ya no eran capaces de convivir. Hoy podemos ofrecerles una hermosa lección: cada derecho conquistado, cada libertad alcanzada ha sido el fruto del esfuerzo y del sacrificio de muchas personas que hoy debemos reconocer y enorgullecernos de ello.

Hoy demostramos con esta Ley que las sociedades pueden hacerse mejores a sí mismas y que pueden ensanchar las fronteras de la tolerancia y hacer retroceder el espacio de la humillación y la infelicidad. Hoy, para muchos, llega aquel día que evocó Kavafis hace un siglo:

“Más tarde decía en la sociedad más perfecta
algún otro, hecho como yo,
ciertamente surgirá y actuará libremente.”


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