Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

Menu
Notable Events Legal Marriage Essays Legal Marriage Data Ceremonial Marriage Domestic Partnership
Legal Necessities Relationship Tips Immigration Couples Chronicles Parenting
Inspiration Orientation Basics Surveys Resource Lists Citation Information
Welcome (About) Your Host Copyright Policy Link Policies Search Site

Holy Union — I
© 2000, Partners Task Force


The following sample marriage ceremony solemnizes a relationship.

While this may not be reproduced by any print or electronic means for distribution, permission to use this text is hereby given to individual same-sex couples for use in their personal commitment ceremonies.

Gathering and Entrance Rites

Prelude

Procession (stand)

Trumpet Tune

Greeting

Presider:
In the name of the God Who Creates us, Who Redeems us and Who makes us Holy.

Response:
Amen

Presider:
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the Love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

Response:
And also with you.

Penitential Rite

Presider:
My brothers and sisters, to prepare ourselves to celebrate the Sacred Mysteries, let us call to mind our sins. Your were sent to heal the contrite of heart, Lord have mercy

Response:

Lord have mercy.

Presider:
You came to call all Sinners, Christ have mercy.

Response:
Christ have mercy.

Presider:
You plead for us at the right hand of the Father, Lord have mercy.

Response:
Lord have mercy.

Presider:
May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us to everlasting life

Response:
Amen.

Opening Prayer

Presider:
Let us pray.

Oh Lord our God, You bestowed all things on us for salvation and commanded us to love one another and to bear with one another’s weakness. You yourself were a friend to humankind; therefore grant unashamed devotion and unfeigned love all their days to [Name-1] and [Name-2], Your servants, who love each other in a Holy and Blessed love and have come into Your Holy Temple to be blessed by You. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ Your Son, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.

Response:
Amen

Liturgy of the Word

First Reading: A reading from the First Book of Samuel. (1 Samuel 16:19.23; l8:1-5; 20:35; 20:40-43)

“Saul sent messengers to Jesse, saying ‘Send me David your son who is with the sheep.’ Jesse took five loaves, a skin of wine and a kid, sent them to Saul by David his son. And so David came to Saul and entered his service; Saul loved him greatly and David became his armor bearer. Then Saul sent to Jesse saying, ‘Let David enter my service; he has won favor.’ And whenever the spirit from God troubled Saul, David took the harp and played; then Saul grew calm, and recovered, and the evil spirit left him.

“After David had finished talking to Saul, Jonathan’s soul became closely bound to David’s and Jonathan came to him as his own soul. Saul kept him from that day forward and would not let him go back to his father’s house. Jonathan made a pact with David to love him as his own soul; he took off the cloak he was wearing and give it to David, and his armor too, even his sword, his bow and belt. Whenever David went out, on whatever mission Saul sent him, he was successful, and Saul put him in command of the fighting men; he stood well in his people’s eyes and in the eyes of Saul’s officers.

“The next morning Jonathan went out into the fields for the agreed meeting with David, taking a young servant with him.

“Jonathan then gave his weapons to his servant and said, ‘Go and carry them to the town.’ When the servant went off, David rose from beside the hillock and fell with his face to the ground and bowed three times. Then they kissed each other and shed many tears. Then Jonathan said to David, ‘Go in peace. And as regards the oath that both of us have sworn in the name of Yahweh be witness between you and me, between your descendants and mine forever.’”

The Word of the Lord.

Response:
Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm: “We Have Been Told”

Second Reading: A reading from the First Letter of Paul to the Church at Corinth (1 Corinthians 12:31; 13:4-13)

“Set your hearts on the greater gifts. I will show you the way, which surpasses all others. If I speak with human tongues and angelic as well, but do not know love, I am a noisy gong, a clanging cymbal. If I have the love of prophecy and, with full knowledge, comprehend all mysteries; if I have the faith great enough to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give everything to feed the poor and hand over my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

“Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, it does not put on airs, it is not snobbish. Love is never rude, it is not selfish, it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries. Love does not rejoice in what is wrong but rejoices with the truth. There is no limit to love’s forbearance, to its trust, its hope, its power to endure.

“Love never fails. Prophecies will cease, tongues will be silent, and knowledge will pass away. Our knowledge is imperfect and our prophesying is imperfect. When the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I used to talk like a child, think like a child, reason like a child. When I became an adult, I put childish ways aside. Now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror; then we shall face to face. My knowledge is imperfect now; then I shall know even as I am known. There are in the end three things that last: faiths, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love. Love never fails.”

The Word of the Lord.

Response:
Thanks be to God.

Gospel

Gospel Acclamation: “Celtic Alleluia” (stand)

Presider:
The Lord be with you.

Response:
And also with you

Presider:
A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew (Matthew 5: 13-16)

“Jesus said to his disciples: ‘You are the salt of the earth. But what if salt goes flat? How can you restore its flavor? Then it is good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled under foot.’

“‘You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. People do not light a lamp and then put it under a basket. They set it on a stand where it gives a light to all in the house. In the same way, your light must shine before all so that they may see your goodness in your acts and give praise to your heavenly Creator.’”

This is the Gospel of the Lord

Response:
Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ.

Homily

Holy Union Address and Statement of Intention

Presider:
My dear friends, you have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church’s minister and this community. In this way you will be strengthened to keep mutual and lasting faith with each other and to carry out the duties of your Most Holy Union. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions.

[Name1], you come here freely and without reservation to affirm your covenant of love and fidelity to [Name-2] and your intention to live together in a committed relationship. Will you love (him/her), comfort (him/her), honor and keep (him/her), forsaking all others, and be faithful to (him/her) as long as you both shall live?

Person1:
I will.

Presider:
[Name-2], you come here freely and without reservation to affirm your covenant of love and fidelity to [Name-1] and your intention to live together in a committed relationship. Will you love (him/her), comfort (him/her), honor and keep (him/her), forsaking all others, and be faithful to (him/her) as long as you both shall live?

Person2:
I will.

Presider:
Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their covenant?

Witnesses:
We will.

Consent and Exchange of Vows

Presider:
Since it is your intention to enter into this Holy Union, join your hands and declare your consent before God and the Church.

Person1:
In the presence of God and our community, I, [Name-1], take you, [Name-2], to be my companion in a covenant of love, comfort, forgiveness and faithfulness; in times of ease or unease, whether we are rich or poor, in sickness and in health, as long as both shall live. This is my solemn vow.

Person2:
In the presence of God and our community, I, [Name-2], take you, [Name-1], to be my companion in a covenant of love, comfort, forgiveness and faithfulness; in times of ease or unease, whether we are rich or poor, in sickness and in health, as long as both shall live. This is my solemn vow.

Presider:
You have declared your consent before the Church. The sweet smell of love is lovely to us and much desired. It was the foundation of our ancestors, the guide of prophetic voices sanctified through the preaching of the Holy Apostles, because love is superior to all beautiful things of earth. Where there is love, enmity cannot harm, demons have no power, and sin has no reality. May the Lord in His goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with God's blessings. What God has joined, men and women must not divide.

Blessing and Exchange of Rings

Presider:
Lord, bless these rings which we bless (sign of the cross) in your name. Grant that those who wear them may always have a deep faith in each other. May they do Your will and always live together in peace, goodwill and love. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Response:
Amen.

Exchanging Rings

[Person-1 says to Person-2:]
[Name-2], I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment. In the name of God The Creator, The Redeemer and The Sanctifier.

[Person-2 says to Person-1:]
[Name-1], I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment. In the name of God The Creator, The Redeemer and The Sanctifier.

General Intercessions

Presider:
(petitions) We pray to the Lord.

Response:
Amen.

Liturgy of the Eucharist

Presentation of the Gifts

Prayer over the Gifts

Presider:
Pray, my brothers and sisters, that our sacrifice may be acceptable to Almighty God.

Response:
May the Lord accept the sacrifice at your hands for the praise and glory of God’s name and the good of all God’s Church.

(stand)

Presider:
Loving God, accept our offering for [Name-1] and [Name-2]. By your love and providence you have brought them together May the mystery of Christ’s unselfish love, which we celebrate in this Eucharist, increase their love for you and for each other. We ask this in the name of Jesus the Lord.

Response:
Amen.

Eucharistic Prayer

Presider:
The Lord be with you.

Response:
And also with you.

Presider:
Lift up your hearts.

Response:
We lift them up to the Lord.

Presider:
Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.

Response:
It is right to give God thanks and praise.

Preface

Holy, Holy, Holy

Memorial Acclamation

The Great Amen

Communion Rite

The Lord’s Prayer

Nuptial Blessing (Adaptation from a Twelfth Century Roman Catholic Marriage Rite for Two Persons of the Same Gender)

Presider:
My dear friends, let us turn to God and pray that God will bless [Name-1] and [Name-2] and that through the sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ, God will unite in love the couple joined in this Holy Union. For these two persons joining themselves in the loving union of life.

Response:
We pray to the Lord.

Presider:
For these servants, {first name and second name} and for their union in Christ.

Response:
We pray to the Lord

Presider:
That the Lord our God unites them in perfect love and inseparable life.

Response:
We pray to the Lord.

Presider:
For the holy gift of the precious Body and Blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ, that they should receive ii in holiness and it should preserve their union without jealousy.

Response:
We pray to the Lord.

Presider:
Oh Lord Our God, Benefactor and Friend of the human race, these two servants of Yours, who love each other with the sacred and holy love, have come to Your holy temple wishing to receive your sanctification and blessing. Grant them unashamed fidelity and sincere love in all things needed for salvation and eternal life and union for the rest of their lives through God, the Creator, the Redeemer and the Sanctifier.

Response:
Amen.

Sign of Peace

Presider:
Lord, Jesus Christ, you said to our Apostles: I leave you peace, my peace I give you. Look not on our sins, but on the filth of your Church, and grant us the peace and unity of your kingdom, where you live forever and ever.

Response:
Amen.

Presider:
The peace of the Lord be with you always.

Response:
And also with you.

Presider:
Let us offer each other the sign of peace.

Breaking of the Bread

Lamb of God

Communion

Presider:
This is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. Happy are those who are called to this supper.

Response:
Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed

Communion Song: “We Remember”

Meditation: “A Nuptial Blessing” (Choir)

Prayer after Communion

Presider:
Lord, in your love you have given us this Eucharist to unite us with one another and you. We pray for our friends, {first name and second name}, whom you have joined together in this Holy Union. May their love for each other proclaim to all the world their faith in you

Response:
Amen.

Concluding Rites

Blessing

Presider:
The Lord be with you.

Response:
And also with you.

Presider:
(Blessing)

Response:
Amen.

Dismissal

Presider:
Go in the peace of Christ.

Response:
Thanks be to God.

Closing Hymn: “Now Thank We All Our God”



This vow courtesy
Dignity / USA National Office
1500 Massachusetts Ave. N.W., #11, Washington, D.C. 20005
800-877-8797; 202-861-0017; fax 202-429-9808
dignity@aol.com
www.dignityusa.org


Return to: Vows: Marriage Ceremonies


Return to: Partners: Table of Contents

© 2022, Demian
None of the pages on this Web site may be reproduced by any form of reproduction without
permission from Partners, with the exception of copies for personal, student, and
non-commercial use. Please do not copy this article to any Web site.
Links to this page are welcome.