Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

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Sexual Compatibility Evaluation
by Demian
© January 1999, Demian



Do you and your spouse agree about matters sexual? This exercise will stimulate discussion.
Complete and score individually — don’t peek. Then compare your answers.

Rate each of the following as:
    Totally Disagree = 1     Disagree Somewhat = 2     Agree Almost = 3     Totally Agree = 4

Situation Partner
A B
We like the number of times we have sex together.    
We like the same kinds of sex.    
We respect one another’s sexual desires.    
We tell one another if we develop a sexually transmitted disease.    
We freely talk about our sexual fantasies.    
Orgasm is not our goal every time we have sex.    
We share a perspective on masturbation.    
We agree on the amount of openness to outside relationships.    
We feel comfortable with our ideas about nudity.    
We don’t use sex for reward and punishment.    
We use erotic paraphernalia as we wish.    
Sex is not a “spare time” activity for us.    

How to score:

12-24 … Relationship may be hampered by sexual incompatibility. Seek assistance of friends or professionals.
25-36 … Some problems, work together on improvements.
37-48 … Terrific sex life. (Write and tell us how you do it.)

Low score? Disagree with your partner? Go over the statements together and talk things out.
Some think talking about sex kills the romance - not true. The best way to get what you want, and deserve, is to ask for it.


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