Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
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Sexual Compatibility Evaluation
© 1999, Demian


Do you and your spouse agree about matters sexual? This exercise will stimulate discussion. Complete and score individually — don’t peek. Then compare your answers.
Rate each of the following as:
    disagree = 1     disagree somewhat = 2     mostly agree = 3     or agree = 4

Situation Partner
A B
We like the number of times we have sex together.    
We like the same kinds of sex.    
We respect one another’s sexual desires.    
We tell one another if we develop a sexually transmitted disease.    
We freely talk about our sexual fantasies.    
Orgasm is not our goal every time we have sex.    
We share a perspective on masturbation.    
We agree on the amount of openness to outside relationships.    
We feel comfortable with our ideas about nudity.    
We don’t use sex for reward and punishment.    
We use erotic paraphernalia as we wish.    
Sex is not a “spare time” activity for us.    

How to score:

12-24 … Relationship may be hampered by sexual incompatibility. Seek assistance of friends or professionals.
25-36 … Some problems, work together on improvements.
37-48 … Terrific sex life. (Write and tell us how you do it.)

Low score? Disagree with your partner? Go over the statements together and talk things out. Some think talking about sex kills the romance — not true. The best way to get what you want, and deserve, is to ask for it.


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