Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

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Couples in the Hood
Percent of Gay Men and Lesbians in a Relationship
by Demian
© May 11, 2005, Demian



Here are results from surveys that tabulated the percent of gay men and lesbians who are in a relationship. They have been gathered from various news sources and by direct correspondence.

While the majority of those who are in the gay and lesbian community are coupled, the gay press has most often treated the community as if it were single. This has contributed to the widespread, incorrect belief that gay men and lesbians do not form families.

It needs to be kept in mind that there has never been reliable statistics on lesbians and gay men. This is due to the underground nature of a community that has been persecuted and dehumanized for centuries.

When jobs can be lost, children removed from loving homes, and a segment of society can be targeted for vile speech paving the way for violence, not too many will identify as having a homosexual orientation.

We know of no reliable way of accurately surveying the gay and lesbian community. It is simply too hidden.

Relationship Results
“Gay in America”

“Currently involved in a relationship?”
   in U.S.:
64 percent women
60 percent men
   in Bay Area:
81 percent women
58 percent men

National phone poll conducted March 27-April 17, 1989
Respondents: 3,748 straight, 400 gay

San Francisco Examiner, June 1989 (Part 3, page 21)

= = =

Overlooked Opinions

“boyfriends/girlfriends or lovers”
70 percent lesbian
50 percent gay men

“lived with partners”
33+ percent gay men
50+ percent lesbian

National survey of 7,500 gay men and lesbians
Reported by Partners Task Force, Winter 1992

= = =

Italy’s Institute of Health and Arci Gay

“in a relationship”
51 percent gay men

Survey of 3,000 Italian gay men
Reported by Partners Task Force, September 1991

= = =

Overlooked Opinions

“involved in an ongoing intimate relationship”
75 percent lesbian
60 percent gay men

“lived with partners”
42 percent lesbians
27 percent gay men

National survey of 725 gay men and 275 lesbians.

Overlooked Opinions surveys thousands of gay men and
lesbians every six weeks.
Reported by Partners Task Force, November 1991

= = =

RSVP vacation cruises

“passengers who are coupled”
55 percent same-sex couples

reported by Partners Task Force, July 1991

= = =

Overlooked Opinions

“ongoing intimate relationship”
75 percent lesbian
60 percent gay men

“live together”
42 percent lesbian
27 percent gay men

Overlooked Opinions have a 10,000-member national
mailing/survey list, but article did not say how
many responded to these questions.
Reported in Gay Chicago: After Dark, November 1, 1990

= = =

Northstar Project

“had one lover or partner”
64 percent lesbian
40 percent gay men

“lived with partner”
55 percent lesbian
31 percent gay men

Survey undertaken October-December 1987
Survey of 1,864
mostly Twin Cities area, as well as Minnesota in general
   49 percent lesbian
   44 percent gay men
   4 percent bi women
   3 percent bi men)

= = =

San Francisco AIDS Foundation

“coupled”
50 percent gay men

1984 telephone survey of 500 gay men in San Francisco

= = =

James Spada

“had a lover”
41 percent

Most of those “either shared a home with or devoted
a large majority of their time to this person.”

1976-1978 nationwide survey of 1,000+ gay men

Sources
  • “Gay in America” Examiner reprint (1989), $4.50, $3 each for 25+ copies
          available from GLAAD, 248 West 35th St., 8th Floor, New York, NY 10001; 212-629-3322
  • Northstar Project, Gay & Lesbian Community Action Council, 310 East 38th St., #204, Minneapolis, MN 55409; 612-822-0127
  • Overlooked Opinions, Jeff Vitale, president, Chicago, IL - now defunct
  • San Francisco Examiner, 988 Market St., San Francisco, CA 94102; 415-826-1100

Also see:
Are Couples Overlooked? Partners’ Gay/Lesbian Media Survey
Media Resources: Couples Research Results & Analysis

Return to: Partners: Table of Contents

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