Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

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© February 23, 2013, Demian


Out-of-print books may be found at used book stores or libraries. Availability and costs change often, so it’s best to contact distributors before ordering.

—— Books ——

Are You Guys Brothers?
by Brian McNaught (2008), $16, Author House, 1663 Liberty Drive, #200, Bloomington, IN 47403.
Part autobiography, part a record of a warts-and-all dissection of a loving, productive and spiritual relationship. Writing includes a look at a Catholic upbringing, childhood sexual abuse, alcoholism, attempted suicide, and a dysfunctional gay community, in dealing with spirituality, money, sex, body image, and aging during the 32-year relationship Brian had with Ray Struble. Brian and Ray met in 1976, and continue as a couple today.


Calamus Lovers: Walt Whitman’s working-class camerados
by Charley Shively (1987), $12, Gay Sunshine Press, Box 410690, San Francisco, CA 94141.
Letters, poetry and lively commentary document Whitman’s gay relationships.


Counseling Same-Sex Couples
by Douglas Carl (1990), $19.95 (hard), W.W. Norton & Co., 500 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10110.
Theories, issues and techniques for counselors.


Friends and Lovers
edited by John Preston with Michael Lowenthal (1995), $22.95 (hard), Dutton Press (Penguin USA) 375 Hudson St., New York, NY 10014.
Whether forced out of blood families, or deciding to forge on their own, gay men describe how they created their own unique families. An anthology by writers that shows lives enriched by enduring relationships that are filled with compassion and love.


Gay Relationships
edited by John De Cecco (1981), $18.95 + $2.75 p&h, Haworth Press, 10 Alice St., Binghamton, NY 13904-1580.
How to find, choose a partner, solve problems, maintain relationship.


Gay Relationships: How to form them, how to improve them, how to make them last
by Tina Tessina, PhD (1989), $12.95, Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc., 5858 Wilshire Blvd., #200, Los Angeles, CA 90036.
Guide for communications.


Get Closer: A Gay Men’s Guide to Intimacy and Relationships
by Jeffrey N. Chernin, PhD, MFT (2006), $14.95, Alyson Books, P.O. Box 1253, Old Chelsea Station, New York, New York, 10113-1251.
Packed with practical suggestions and examples of ways relationships are found, formed, and sustained.


Homo Domesticus: Notes from a same-sex marriage
by David Valdes Greenwood (2007), $22, Can$26.50, Da Capo Press.
A peek at the love, personality differences, tension, compromises and other ordinary stuff that goes into a committed long-term relationship, and adoption.


“Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples”
by Demian. Sweet Corn Productions.
Contains 140-pages, 48 illustrations. Facts, tips and insights on sex, job benefits, same-sex marriage, children, finances and legal planning. Also has extensive resource lists, and sources of support. Survey report on in-depth information on 1,266 couples. Articles on the dangers from the Republican Party, and book banning. Purchase via Amazon.


Intimacy Between Men: How to find and keep gay love relationships
by John H. Driggs, MSW & Stephen E. Finn, PhD (1990), $18.95, Dutton, 375 Hudson St., New York, NY 10014.
Developing skills, working on self-fulfillment.


Lesbian Couples: Creating healthy relationships for the 90s
by D. Merilee Clunis & G. Dorsey Green (revised 1993), $12.95 + $1.94 p&h, Seal Press, 3131 Western Ave., #410, Seattle, WA98121.
Excellent, complete guide to building, sustaining relationships; wise counsel. Also on 60 minute audio cassette; $9.95 + $1.94 p&h.


Lesbian Passion: Loving ourselves and each other
by JoAnn Loulan (1987), $11.95 + $1.50 p&h, Spinsters Book Co., Box 410687, San Francisco, CA 94141.
Includes “How couples can keep their sex lives exciting.”


Love Between Men: Enhancing intimacy and keeping your relationship alive
by Rik Isensee (1990), $11 + $1 p&h, Prentice-Hall, NJ. Orders to: Simon & Schuster, Mail Order Dept., Old Tappan, NJ 07675; 800-223-2348.
Guidelines on communications skills.


Love Styles: How to celebrate your differences
by Tina B. Tessina (1987), $9.95, Newcastle Publishing, Box 7589, Van Nuys, CA 91409.
Self-help exercises for new and long-term couples; examples include lesbian and gay relationships.


The Male Couple’s Guide to Living Together: What gay men should know about living together and coping in a straight world
by Eric Marcus (revised 1992), $14, Harper Perennial, 10 E. 53rd St., New York, NY 10022.
Practical, clear, complete and supportive.


Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered gay men & domestic violence
by David Island, PhD & Patrick Letellier, MA, (1991), $19.95 + $2.75 p&h, Haworth Press, 10 Alice St., Binghamton, NY 13904-1580; 800-342-9678.
A self-help and trainer’s/teacher’s guide.


Naming the Violence: Speaking out about lesbian battering
edited by Kerry Lobel (1986), $12.95 + $1.94 p&h, The Seal Press, 3131 Western Ave., #410, Seattle, WA98122.
Anthology by and for battered lesbians and those who support their empowerment.


Partner and I: Molly Dewson, feminism and New Deal politics
by Susan Ware (1989), $16.95, Yale University Press, 92A Yale Stn., New Haven, CT 06520.
Political and personal biography of a woman and her 52-year lesbian partnership.


Permanent Partners: Building gay & lesbian relationships that last
by Betty Berzon, Ph.D. (1988), $9.95, E.P. Dutton, 375 Hudson St., New York, NY 10014.
Excellent comprehensive guide for both gay men and lesbians.


Positively Gay
edited by Betty Berzon, Ph.D. (1992), $11.95, Celestial Arts, Box 7123, Berkeley CA 94707; 510-845-8414.
Includes: “Building Successful Relationships,” “Lesbian Couples in Particular,” and articles on being a gay or lesbian parent.


True Secrets of Lesbian Desire: Keeping Sex Alive in Long-Term Relatonships
by Renate Stendhal (1992), $15, North Atlantic Books, Berkeley California; 800-337-2665.
“Most relationship counselors and sex educators agree about the value of honesty in any ethical, moral, loving relationship. But who ever thought that honesty could be erotic? That truth could be an aphrodisiac?” - from the Preface to the Second Edition. Contains dialogues of couples and a Foreword by Jewelle Gomez


Why Can’t Sharon Kowalski Come Home?
by Karen Thompson & Julie Andrzejewski (1988), $10.95 +$1.50 p&h, Spinsters Book Co., Box 410687, San Francisco, CA 94141.
Documents Thompson’s struggle to restore the dignity of disabled partner Kowalski, whose guardian parents have kept the couple separated since 1985.

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