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Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples Online from 1995-2022 Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership. In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade. In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur. Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners. Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship. Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer. |
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Same-sex couples that have one or both partners working for the military are required to keep their relationship secret. To maintain secrecy, some partners must live apart. The secrecy alone is a terrible burden, which threatens to destroy their family. To keep such a secret, partners must never hold hands in public, or even in front of friends. They must refrain from going shopping together for fear of being seen too often in each other’s company. This secrecy also makes forming long-lasting relationships more difficult, or even impossible. To compel someone to deny their orientation is a form of torture that debilitates, depresses, and emotionally cripples. Because partners cannot have any sort of legal relationship, they are denied all spousal benefits, including items such as medical and life insurance. Should a relationship go sour, an unethical former partner could inform the military about a soldier’s orientation. If no anti-gay law was in place, the possibility of blackmail would be nonexistent. The U.S. military is the only American employer that requires firing openly gay men and lesbians. The so-called “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Harass” 1993 law is the only U.S. law that authorizes an employer to fire someone for being gay. By 2005, the military’s anti-gay law allowed discharging more than 10,000 gay and lesbian service members. Purging vital personnel in linguists, intelligence analysis, and medical specialists, for instance, hurts military readiness. Every day, nearly three service members lose their jobs under this law. This drumming out process has unnecessarily cost more than $200 million since its inception.
Currently, the U.S. — in Afghanistan and elsewhere — fights alongside 13 other nations that have troops that include openly gay, lesbian, and bisexual soldiers. The United Kingdom lifted the ban on openly gay service members in January 2000, following the European Court of Human Rights ruling that gay service members must not be excluded. By August 2001, the U.K. was considering allowing pensions, living together on army bases in the U.K. and overseas, as well as other benefits for same-sex partners. Following the enactment of “Civil Partnerships” in Great Britain (November 19, 2004), the government announcement that the Royal Navy became the first branch of the services to say it welcomes personnel in a same-sex relationship to stay in family quarters, once they have registered their union. In January 2005, the Canadian Forces drafted a policy calling for military Chaplains to formally bless same-sex weddings. In October 2005, the Australian Defence Force (ADF) offered same-sex partners of soldiers, sailors and pilots the same range of family benefits available to personnel in recognized opposite-sex relationships. The benefits include items such as housing assistance, relocation expenses, and reunion travel costs.
If you are in the military: Because the current law prohibits gay, lesbian bisexual service members from disclosing sexual orientation — and your personal computer can be confiscated and searched — be extremely cautious about which computers are used and the e-mail you save. Do not use a military or government computer to search the Web or receive mail, which could put your career in jeopardy.Everyone can support reform: Call on Congress, the White House, and the Pentagon to lift the ban on lesbian, gay, and bisexual service members. Our troops should be able to live and serve honestly.
The following provide a great deal of information and further suggestions for action: American Veterans for Equal Rights |
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