Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples Online from 1995-2022 Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership. In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade. In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur. Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners. Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship. Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer. |
Quaker Support for Legal Recognition of Same-Sex Marriage North Pacific Yearly Meeting, Ad Hoc Committee on Marriage July 1997 The North Pacific Yearly Meeting (NPYM) of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) adopted the following statement supporting the legal recognition of same-sex marriages at their 25th annual session held in Spokane, Washington, on July 20, 1997. This statement was a result of fifteen years of dialogue about marriage. Over two-hundred adult meeting participants adopted, without dissent, the following preamble and minute. While not binding on the member meetings, all members were encouraged to speak out and work locally for equal treatment of all marriages.
Background for Minute on Legal Recognition of Same-sex Marriage
Why Legally Recognize Same-Sex Marriage? While the Defense of Marriage Act (DoMA) was being debated in the fall of 1996 in the U.S. Congress, Representative Steve Gunderson (R-Wis) requested a study of what civil marriage means under federal law. The congressional General Accounting Office undertook this study and identified 1,138 federal laws in which marital status is a factor. Laws which outline the rights of husbands and wives, widows and widowers, affect such services as social security, disability, housing and food stamps. The study found fifty-nine provisions of federal income tax law affected by a taxpayer’s marital status. Employment benefits allowing employees to care for an ill spouse and receive survivors benefits, should that spouse die as a result of the job, are dictated by law. Immigration laws permit only those legally married to immigrate as a family. Providing this kind of support to families and couples is of such value that our society has created vast numbers of laws to protect them. This kind of protection is afforded only to those legally married. Families of gay and lesbian couples who are denied civil marriage are denied these benefits and protections. A few examples will illustrate the effects of this discrimination. Several years ago a gay man carried his dying partner into a Bozeman, Montana, hospital and was never allowed to see him again. A gay man in Great Falls, Montana, and his partner in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, held a religious ceremony ten years ago but the Canadian has been unable to get a working visa to the U.S. so their relationship has been sustained by telephone calls and infrequent visits. A Pennsylvania lesbian, dying of cancer, signed extensive documents in an effort to assure legal rights for her life partner. One request in those documents was that her headstone would read “Beloved life partner, …” As is so often the case, the legal documents did not prevail over the wishes of the cancer victim’s parents and her grave is currently unmarked. Why Now? In the last few years there has been a flurry of activity around the issue of same-sex marriage, primarily because three same-sex couples challenged the current Hawaii state law which prohibits their marriage. They cited discrimination under the state’s Equal Rights Amendment. On December 3, 1996, Hawaii Circuit Court Judge Kevin Chang ruled that the government had failed to show a single compelling reason for denying lesbian and gay couples the freedom to marry and the suit is back in the Hawaii Supreme Court. In light of this case, many states have considered laws and/or constitutional amendments to ban same-sex marriage, refuse recognition of such and/or restrict marriage to heterosexual couples. A referendum is scheduled in Hawaii. Idaho and Montana have passed bans. In Oregon such a bill died in committee. In Washington, three anti-gay marriage bills were introduced in the last legislative session. Two bills failed; the other was vetoed by Governor Locke. More bills are expected next year. At the federal level, Congress passed DoMA which bars federal recognition of any same-sex marriage which might be legalized in any state. The news is not all negative. Both Washington and Oregon include sexual orientation in their hate-crime bills. Montana’s Supreme Court ruled on July 3, 1997, that the state sodomy law was unconstitutional. In Washington, while there have been anti-gay marriage bills proposed, there have also been bills proposed to legalize gay and lesbian marriages. It is clear that there will continue to be opportunities for Friends to witness for the truth we have found to our respective legislatures. Quaker Actions Within NPYM In 1992, NPYM approved two minutes, one supporting same-gender relationships, advocating that meetings use the same language and process that they use for heterosexual relationships and one endorsing civil rights of sexual minorities. In 1994, NPYM approved a minute in which we challenged ourselves to support gays and lesbians and to nonviolently challenge those who are hostile. Some Meetings in NPYM have already approved support for legalizing same-sex marriages. In 1991, Olympia Friends Meeting passed a minute in support of the religious and the civil recognition of same-sex marriage. In 1992, both Walla Walla and Pullman-Moscow issued public statements supporting civil and constitutional rights of all persons. This year, both University Friends Meeting and Montana Gathering of Friends sent letters to their respective legislatures expressing support for civil marriage. Other Quaker Actions
Pacific Yearly Meeting approved a minute supporting civil marriage for same-sex couples at its Annual Session in August, 1996. The American Friends Service Committee filed an Amicus Brief in the State of Hawaii in November, 1996. In a letter to Friends explaining this action, they stated that to restrict the benefits of marriage to opposite-sex couples is a form a legalized discrimination. Both Pacific Yearly Meeting and the AFSC Board were prompted to this witness in faithfulness to the Quaker testimony on equality. Civil rights should not be denied to anyone.
North Pacific Yearly Meeting, Ad Hoc Committee on Marriage
(disbanded in 2002)
Marriage Committee Members:
For further information on gay and lesbian issues and the Quaker faith:
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